Have you grown in anger with your household? One or both parents use anger to keep you and control yourself?
How did you react?
You accepted a good little girl or boy trying to do what your parents wanted, I hope they won't be so angry so often.
You searched and rebelled and were not the highest priority.
Bought with them, learned to use anger in the same way as – to control.
He used a combination of the above, perhaps in an open-minded manner, but he was resilient in various ways, and was perhaps angry with younger siblings or friends as a way of conflict resolution.
He remained in your head and turned to various addictions to avoid your feelings.
You turned your inward anger and sentenced you to yourself.
Now, how adult is your anger playing in your life? Are you using anger to control others trying to do what you want? Use conformity to check others, trying to make sure you're not angry with you? Close, pull and resist when others are angry to punish them and not steer them?
Wrath, Wrong, Criticism, Judgment – All these are the ways we can try to control others. Compliance and beauty can also be how others feel and treat.
Resistance and reversal are the hidden ways to control others and control without control. All of these behaviors create control systems that do not work in any way. Instead of creating harmony and intelligence, behavior control makes these things impossible.
If you are angry …
Anyone involved in this system should deal with their own system if the system heals. If you are angry, you have to deal with the feeling that your anger freezes, such as fear, anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, unity, emptiness, loneliness, heartbeat, sorrow inertia against others and events.
Trying to control others with anger is usually the projection of the anger of their own inner child, not taking care of yourself in some way. How do you take responsibility for yourself? What are you doing for others' responsibility and then angry if they don't do it right?
As long as you believe that the angry thing to another person is fine, you will continue to do so. You will only stop when you really understand that the psychic darts of anger are just as painful as the actual physical darts. As long as he allows the wounded to take his painful feelings, he will act in anger. Fortunately, when you have been practicing Bonding for a long time to be a loving adult, when you have pain, you can choose your reactions.
If you meet, resist or withdraw …
If you are a decent, resilient or retired, you have to see that you are not taking care of your lover. Instead of being reactive, feedbacking, resisting, dragging, or angry, we need to solve the fact that it's not okay for others to be angry with you. He must talk and let the angry man know he is not available to discuss the issue of using anger to deal with conflicts.
If the angry man is not available for his wrath, he must freely release – leave the conflict without anger or anger, and take care of his own feelings – until the other person is willing to anger and / or reveal the conflict with you . When we all open to get to know the end of the system, and all of you discover what you love yourself and each other, you begin to repair the dysfunctional anger / compliance / resistance / withdrawal system.
A person who is at the end of anger is often very reactive to him – that is, automatic compliance, resistance, withdrawal, or anger. If that is the case, then you have to love to be a loving adult to your other anger. A loving adult is not reactive.
A loving adult position that is open to learning while setting limits on anger and acting on these limits, such as, say,
"I'm not going to discuss this until you are angry" and freely freed from interaction. This can be done much more easily if you catch the anger of the other, or the first signs of your own reaction, and you can enter the loving adult yourself.
Managing one's own or another governing behavior in relationships can be a challenge for everyone if everyone is willing to open learning and not continue to control behavior. Every person has a lot of profit if learning has a higher priority than control.
Source by sbobet