"Anyone can be angry – it's easy but angry for the right person, in the right amount and in the right time, in the right way and in the right way that is not in everyone's power, and that's not easy." Aristotle, 384 – 322 BC
Aristotle's quotation is probably one of my favorite quotes for anger because of the many consequences. I agree with him in most of his statements – the fact that it is easy to be angry and the many angry ways; there is, however, a point I do not necessarily agree – when it says that not everyone has the power to change how angry they are. We tend to tell ourselves that anger is an uncontrollable emotion-that we "snapped" or said or did something because we were nervous. I often hear about clients, colleagues, friends and family members. Sometimes we like to use anger to explain our bad behavior as if we are not able to change how we react. And frankly, sometimes you feel that's right, but the good news is that you can learn (with many exercises) how angry Aristotle's way is. In the Emotional Intelligence book, Daniel Goleman, author argues that Aristotle's challenge is to treat our anger with intelligence. In this article I will determine how to be angry intelligently.
The right person: know who you are crazy!
We are often nervous or nervous about our spouse or loved ones We are very nervous about something. Or we chew our heads from our co-worker, but we really are not happy about what's happening at home. Or to give the cashier a lot of money on the line, it's too slow to use the peanut butter when you come in when you're really angry about yourself.
These are all classic examples of relocated anger. I know this can not be a good grammar, but here's the idea of "know who you are crazy!" Or to show it briefly, target his wrath to his rightful owner. You will not solve the problem because you are annoyed by bad people. It destroys relationships, friendships, fame, and costs may arise.
There are many reasons for not expressing our anger on the right individuals. The other person may intimidate us, become incapable or insecure and / or unable to express ourselves and our anger effectively.
There are some ways to be angry with the right person with the intelligence of anger.
o Exploring the "Real" Issue – Why are you really upset? I always say that anger is a secondary emotion and there is another feeling under it (pain, disappointment, fear, confusion, etc.), which leads to frustrations.
o Practical Insecure Communication – If you are nervous and have the right tool, then tell them how they feel right.
o – If you know that you are tense or nervous or something, take some time to cool or think about the question before joining.
Better Diploma: Someone check the thermostat!
What does anger mean at the right angle? That means how angry you will be. Imagine listing all the angry situations you find on a thermometer while working. What will you list in 5 degrees? What would you say at 50 degrees? What would be for you in 100 degrees?
Take a look at the seemingly benevolent question that there is no ink in the printer. You will realize that each person has a different angry intensity when it comes to a certain question.
5 degrees – There is no ink in the printer. No matter, I can print later.
50 degrees – There is still no ink for the printer. I have to print this report two hours before the meeting!
90 degrees – Okay, how idiot he used all the ink and did not change it! This report should be printed and copied to 10 people in 15 minutes! This is ridiculous!
Monitoring intimidation intensity is probably the most important technique of anger management. It seems that very strong anger can lead to serious health problems for a prolonged period, including high blood pressure, digestive problems, migraine headaches, and so on. So you can check "anger", "warm" status? What situations are in 70 degrees and can be useful to you and around you when it's 40 degrees?
As I always say, it's okay … natural and normal, but to what extent does your intensity permit you?
The right time: the timing is all!
Have you ever thought about yourself after saying something that could be damaged, inappropriate or simply bad: "I really should have waited for it to say …" or "I was not that way to come out. . ". Sometimes we have the best intention – we know what to say and WHY, but when we say this, it's not just the wrong way, but our timing is far away! We often wait until we're 90 degrees to express our feelings. This is OFTEN happening at the workplace … just wait for the right look, word or comment, and as soon as it happens – we've given them!
Is there "a good time" to be angry? Of course there is no good or bad time to be angry … if you are nervous, you are only. But the question does not necessarily mean when you should be angry, recognize that you are upset and decide if there is enough time to take part in something – whether it is a conversation, a decision to assign assignments to staff or even raise as well. All of these things can be workplace needs, but if we are frustrated and trying to solve them in the wrong time, the result is usually not the best. The "conversation" that we design with our colleague has become an argument; instead of appointing duties fairly, he was clearly biased; and instead of making the case clear and concise, he demanded it.
Timing is all, especially when it is furiously intelligent. Some tips on timing include:
o Hold a break, one minute to cool, one hour, maybe another day. The cooler heads will prevail if you take the time to think about what you want to say.
o Before contacting your colleagues or colleagues, you acknowledge that you are nervous or not, and how nervous you are.
o If you are tired, sleepy, or hungry, relax, sleep or eat before taking any serious matter. You will be much quicker and more angry if you are not resting or eating properly. Now that you understand it better, you must be angry with how intense your anger is and when you have to properly express your anger, we will discuss how angry it is for the right purpose. That is, how to be angry for the right purpose, or rather for the right reasons. I noticed in my work with my clients, in my interaction with my colleagues, and in conversations with my friends and family that most of the frustration is beyond our control. Think about it: When was the last time you were overwhelmed, I mean, something really devastated you can not control? Your boss, your employee, your co-worker, your copier, your car?
The truth is that you can not control anyone and anything else but YOU! The main guilty here is our thoughts … about how things should "go", how to "handle" the way things need to be. But sometimes people treat us with what they want, things do not go, and things are not the way we want them to. In the field of anger management, we use a term called Hot Thoughts. Basically, these are thoughts that bring anger to each of them.
Here is the list of Hot Ideas. Does any of the overwhelming thoughts resemble these? – The idea that everything has to and should go in a certain way. Look for words that you need to be, etc.
o Terrible – Extreme Negative Thinking. (Making mountains from molehills.) It looks terrible, horrible and horrible words. Words are like always and never appear.
o Condemnation – The idea that you or others will stop you. The beliefs that arise from those who do not meet their expectations or moral obligation deserve the punishment.
Low frustration tolerance – The belief that comes as we expect things go smoothly or we will not be able to stand.
If you find it, you often just want to have a simple technique to change this heated hot thought into a less intense alternative thinking. do you "do" your anger? I mean, how you show or express your anger. How is someone else you're nervous? Are you loud and angry? More passive aggressive? Does sarcasm ever come to mind?
I always say it's okay; but that is what you do with it that causes the problems. This is especially the case at the workplace. Make yourself aware of how annoyed or frustrated you. Ask others how to experience them. If your anger is negative, your staff is noticed, your staff notices, the boss's remarks … everyone notices it, and your reputation comes from there. If we strive to promote or work in this economic environment, you may want to examine yourself by showing that you are listed below when it becomes angry:
o Shout / Scream
o "Snappy" (or irritable response)
o Holding Grudges
o Hold it and then "explode"
So before you decide to "go down" to your boss … remember, someone is always listening. Handling the situation will follow everywhere. As you handle anger, you can lead a positive or negative path … you decide.
Hopefully you have got such useful information that will be useful in your work because of the anger. As Aristotle says that intelligence may be angry, it can not be easy, but I guess we can do it by learning the practice you've learned.
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