We're all angry at times. When Google finds "anger management" you find many links and many suggestions.
"Experts" tell you that you have two basic choices with many different options. The overwhelming majority of these 'experts' are missing the question. Anger is said to be a runaway car or a threatening dog, which should not only be treated as an important tool that we must learn to use.
The options offered by "experts" are:
Most FAIL's "anger" experts recognize that
a. Anger is a fundamental emotion that provides important information
b. There are times when anger is needed and appropriate
. This angry behavior is always the problem, not the anger
d. The real problem is that we learn to use your anger as a tool, not control, reduce or avoid it.
There is a Better Way: Use your emotions as a tool that will improve your life and relationships.
You may be surprised to know that … not "angry"
You rather feel angry. "Wait a minute!" you say. "What it means?"
Well, if you are in a situation that may be a threat to you, your brain unconsciously prepares your body to fight or escape from the threat. This is a survival mechanism that people can help to survive from the start
When you notice these changes in your body, you tagged the feeling you experience.
One such label is "anger"
In other words, you feel angry. When that happens, you have to put three questions before you do anything. Finding and answering these questions prevents from reacting to the situation and doing something that would later regret. The three most important questions when asked when they are angry are the following: A. What is dangerous?
What is this question doing? If you look at the "risk", you assess the nature of the threat. The "survival" threats are clear and include your life, your primary finances or your values. The "psychological" threats are ambiguous and easily misunderstood and include the ego, your goals, your beliefs, or your dreams.
The nature of the threat determines the answer and takes you to the next question. . What should be protected or accomplished in this situation?
What is this question doing? This question satisfies the situation faced by the actions it will deal with. Protection means "survival" risk. You have to do everything you need to safeguard your property.
Implementation deals with "psychological" threats and says you have many opportunities to find a win-win solution or compromise
a. you hear your opinion,
b. expressed in your faith,
c. your requirements are met,
d. your relationships will be maintained or healed,
e. disagreements are solved.
C. What is my most effective answer?
What is this question doing? This question directs your attention to the fact that the RESPONSE choice is out of the reach of REAKTION, which is an unconscious behavioral outflow.
This question looks at your capabilities and strives to meet the situation and the threat. Physical intervention against the offender
Source by sbobet