And here's the technology to control anger: Count 90. The old saying says 10 has to count but actually 90's. Within 90 seconds, anger will go away unless you decide to make yourself angry. Angry, in other words, hard work.
This "90 Seconds Rule" can be viewed by a stunning book called Jill Taylor Bolte "My Stroke of Insight" . Dr. Bolte was a brain research scientist at Harvard Medical University, "research and teaching of young professionals in the brain." In December 1996, Jill had a stroke that could not do the simplest physical or mental tasks. Eight years had to be fully recovered. In his book dr. Bolte shares the remarkable insights it has gained from stroke (see the video below, worth 20 minutes for your life). Bolte points out that "Although there are limbic (emotional) programs that can be selected automatically, less than 90 seconds to get one of these programs, we can overflow our body and completely get rid of the blood stream." In other words, anger (or fact, fear, sadness and anxiety) is produced by chemicals (neurotransmitters) that fall through our bodies. These chemicals evaporate within 90 seconds. In order to feel strong emotions beyond these 90 seconds, we must deliberately decide to continue to feel anger.
The other day's direct experience was when there was little traffic on a two-lane road. At one point the road was bent, and another road crossed over to where I was. The speed limit curve increased from 50 miles per hour to 30 because there was no stopping signal where the roads were intersecting and could not be seen beyond the curve.
As I entered the curve, the other direction passed in front of me, crossing the intersection, without slowing down or even appearing to admit a few feet of crash. Fortunately, I lowered my speed and avoided what would have been a devastating accident.
My limbic system is overcrowded. I was angry. My heart was racing. In my imagination I chased the driver, forced him (or not, I was not sure) at the edge of the road, and I waved him into my face. In my mind, I saw the driver frightened and afraid of me. Then I remembered Dr. Bolte and the inspector's insight. The initial (90-second) experience of anger disappeared, but literally I commanded to keep it alive. Dr Bolte says "if we feel such strong negative feelings as anger, jealousy or frustration … (we feel) strong and powerful" (he seemed to be talking directly to me). He continued, "I know people who knowingly decide to practice harsh circuits on a regular basis simply because it helps them remember what they feel like." In other words, certain feelings are so familiar to us that if we do not experience them, we feel that we are not "ourselves".
Dr. Bolte concludes with the conclusion: "Every year in my life I really had my own imagination." When anger over 90 seconds is emotional, we are all figured out "our ideas," and we have created our own sufferings. As I recall, somewhere I read, though pain may be inevitable, suffering is optional.
So the best anger management technique is simply an arithmetic question: Count to 90.
Source by sbobet