When I tell others I teach anger as a therapist, the answer is often the same. In general, "do you really teach anger?" the sarcastic, "yes, that's right" followed by some laughter. Once after a while, I got an increasingly clear answer, suggesting that I would look like an anger problem. I have to admit I am not a stereotypical anger helper. On the one hand, I probably don't expect the view. But more importantly, I'm a passionate person. I raised my voice with excitement and knew they were joking about "retaliating life" from some drivers. Of course I would never do this and I don't even remember the last time I gave someone angry. But wasn't all of us thinking that we were proud?
Now, when I say I'm passionate, I understand all aspects of my life. I enjoy life. Initially, I could react emotionally, but my reactions didn't react with real difficulty for a while. Besides, are not all our people? Is it so bad to react a little? I always tell my clients that the purpose of therapy is not to make them robots. But when it comes to anger, the public wants a Dali Lama clone to be made easier.
This does not mean that it is not great mediators. Even with my eastern philosophical beliefs, I try to bring more peace and peace. But some people start a more relaxed temperament, or their environment enhances this type of personality. I think one of my strengths is that customers point out as if they look like a normal guy with my thoughts and reactions.
From now on, the transition to anger skills can help you manage your anger with many techniques. I would like to use the rest of the article to discuss helping individuals in their anger. As with any behavioral change technique, the technique is used to make the change effective. So let's start with some definitions of anger.
First of all, it is important to understand that anger is a normal emotion, everyone has, and can range from pacing to anger. Some other related definitions include: Aggression – a behavior that can cause harm or intimidation;
Anger is a problem if it is expressed too intensively, too often, or incorrectly. Anger can contribute to violence, medical problems, body response (fight or flight syndrome) and damage to relationships. The consequences of anger can be experienced whether anger is expressed or not.
Anger is usually seen as a problem when it is expressed in an inappropriate manner. But even the inappropriate expression of anger is rewarding. One of the rewards is the release of tension. Usually there is a feeling of post-infusion release. An angry individual often makes relief easier and even relaxed. Another prize for the inappropriate expression of anger is the direction of others. Often the exploding person gets what they want. Others may continue to place an aggressive individual to avoid conflicts or other explosions. This in itself can be very harmful to relationships. Due to the payments, the inappropriate term can be strengthened, resulting in continued use.
People have different anger buttons. The trigger is any event that typically leads to anger. There are three types of triggers that can be identified. Everyday events include frequent events that are irritating or entertaining. Examples include driving, traffic, waiting in line or waiting. It is important to identify personal everyday and common triggers.
Another type of trigger is Red Flags. Such is the name that initiates anger personally, the trouble caused by an authoritarian parent, or anything that creates a personally sensitive area for the individual. A personal example is when I was young, my father used the punk word in the worst way. After hearing this phrase in a negative way over and over again, a very negative relationship was created for me. Later, when someone called punk, my anger immediately gets angry.
The ultimate type of anger is Resentment. These triggers can be identified because they can sit alone and be angry with the antecedents. It's different from the red flag, because no one else (or their actions) is necessary to trigger anger.
One way to think about anger versus a scale that ranges from one to ten. He considered irritation from one to three due to frustration. There are four and six moderate angels. And seven to ten may be the rage range. I usually instruct clients in my anger workshop to identify what they are physically experiencing, what their thoughts are, and what they do on the scale in three different numbers. These numbers should be in the low range (irritation of frustration when they are angry and experienced before the rage). This is the starting point for exploration and helps you determine the escalation process and determine what steps can be taken
Then I discuss de-escalation techniques, one of the easy-to-use de-escalation techniques of time or conflict interruption, I think there are two kinds of breaks: an official break with a party, often in contrast to the person who learns to handle their anger (parent, partner, family member). They agree that when the escalation begins, the individual can take some time to calm down before solving the problem. The break may not exceed 24 hours unless it is strictly necessary and, if necessary, a note indicating that there is a reasonable time for the meeting (Thich Nhat Hanh). y workshops to try to reach these agreements with the people or people you encounter.
If an official timeout cannot be used, an unofficial timeout can be used. This is when the escalating party simply leaves the situation, but returns to the topic if it is properly discussed. Of course, I often hear stories that the ascending person has left the other party. This is a difficult situation, and if that is the case, then the disagreement may fall. But a final suggestion in this regard is that with cool heads you can discuss how effective a timeout or break can be, and that the other person understands that after the hearing the individual takes time.
Diaphragm breathing is an effective method for treating anger. The membrane breathing takes three consecutive slow deep breaths from the membrane. I always explain that these deep breath types are different in the way people usually breathe. First of all, when they say they get a deep breath, many people breathe too much into the lungs. They breathe deeply into their chest. The problem lies in not completely filling the lungs. When this breathing is performed effectively, the stomach (yes, less attractive) first, then to the chest. This breathing reduces heart rate and heart rate and works because the body cannot be relaxed and tense at the same time.
Another technique that helps eradicate anger is social support. It simply talks about the situation with an objective friend to get feedback. This is to enable aeration and feedback from an expert who can help to build a growing individual. One of the most important aspects of the strategy is that the opinion should be objective. You do not want to use someone who would distribute the individual. For example, if you are angry or growing up with your boss, you do not want companions who propose to tell the boss about social support.
The technique of angry escalation, which many of my customers feel, is effective in thinking about the consequences. It is important to use this technique at an early stage in the process. After the anger reaches the medium and high range, the consequences do not seem important. An angry individual does not care about the potential damage to the relationship as if it were a lunatic or other reasonable consequence.
Many underestimate the power of music or misuse it. When you have angry soothing music, it can be very relaxing. But angry people often get angry. Now I don't recommend throwing away all your angry CDs or running out and Enya Cds too. Which suggests you find soothing music and play when you feel your anger rises. I have a number of CDs that fit my musical taste, which helps me relax when I'm angry.
Techniques that are proven to be effective for sedation chant. Now I know that it seems to be a stranger to many, but I bear with myself. An article I read many years ago stated that all chanting could be soothing. Whether it counts, "Serenity Now" (Seinfeld) or a short prayer over and over, the chanting action is soothing. Of course, you don't want to use violent expressions like "kill kill kill". I have heard a number of customer-specific treatments to discuss how Serenity prayer is used to reassure them and how effective they were. In short, there is no need for esoteric singing to barely say.
One of the techniques of the Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, is a remarkable walk. In his book "Anger: Wisdom for Flames for Cooling", he proposes to walk while focusing on his steps, the air around you, the breath, the landscape, the feeling of your body, and other momentary moments. In any remarkable meditation it is important that when your mind wanders to bring the moment back. Often, the focus on breathing is the restoration of the "monkey mind" (as it is like the thought-to-swing) to the moment. This practice can be very centralized.
The above discussion on meditation leads to the topic of maintenance practices that help reduce anger. The first is regular meditation. Let's face it; who regularly meditate are calmer than those who don't. It seems that sitting quietly while focusing has a long lasting effect on the stabilizing mood.
The final maintenance strategy is regular exercise. Exercise reduces stress, relieves endorphins (natural brain chemicals) that improve mood and well-being. In addition, exercise helps build confidence and may result in others being less affected.
One of the things I always teach to my clients when it comes to anger, whether in anger or individual meetings, is that anger is a second emotion. This means that there is always another emotion or emotion under anger. These emotions often hurt or fear. First talk about fear. Just think about the time you drive and almost hit you. Easily angry or angry. But the first emotion is fear. Fear of being injured, fear of car damage, fear.
Hurt is a bit more complicated because of emotions, especially because anger is an easier emotion you can deal with. Many people, especially those who are angry, are much more comfortable with emotional anger. And it's even hard to find out how their feelings feel. Let me return to a driving example. You're driving, or rather stuck in traffic, and a person forces the way in the queue before some cars come back at the end of the line. Now there was no physical threat to your or your car's well-being, so there is no fear. Yet you feel angry with this person. I suggest that your feelings are damaged and that is what you are under your anger.
Simply stated, when we use it, we must expect or expect expectations. When others fell short of our expectations, we hurt. It has been proven that this is not the same pain as your lover dumped, but it hurt. The greater the pain, the greater the potential of anger.
Thinking about your feelings and their origin is another way of slowing the response to anger. If anger-stricken people become incapable of retreating from their thinking and questioning where the anger comes from, they will probably be better off treating their anger. This leads to the last point of anger. If you step back, look at the underlying feelings and thoughts, then challenge your basics in reality. This is called a cognitive challenge. In addition, the technique called reframing can be equally effective and start the same way.
Once you are able to step back and think about anger, fear, pain, unrealistic expectations of others, or other perceptions, you can explore alternative explanations. Maybe not personal. Maybe it was an accident. Find the benefits of the situation. You can reformat the situation and be less emotional.
I know these techniques are easy to discuss but not so simple. The more such techniques you can do, the more successful you are in dealing with anger. Probably one of the most important things is to keep in mind that self-development is a process, not a goal. We are all human. Managing your anger and other emotions is not something that anyone would do 100%. This would eliminate spontaneity and some real answers to life. But if anger is concerned, these techniques can help reduce the severity and frequency of problem solving.
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