Talk about anger:
At each point of the training, I ask the question, "When is the anger at work?" So far, all the workouts have been answered "Never". Good to hear; yet anger still remains at least tolerated in the culture of most organizations. Let's take a closer look.
Workplace anger is inevitable. Suppose people are in all environments for a long time and anger may ultimately occur. The feeling of anger, however, is not the problem; rather the kind of behavioral expression than hostility, attack, shouting, violence, etc.
Like all emotions, anger is an energy that allows us to experience an experience. In anger, you know when we can not or will not get what we want or need. This is an important message that should not be ignored. In fact, if we ignore anger, we can lose track of it and be surprised when we can jump as a reaction when we least estimate it; sometimes to someone who may not even be the source of distraction. This is called misleading anger – kick the dog syndrome. Anger is such a hot energy that forces us to act quickly and vigorously to defeat our business or our person who is in our way. Somehow the survival mechanism of the fight started and adrenaline was fired through the body for confrontation and battle: the heart is faster and faster, the blood pressure is released, the breathing is increased, the muscles are tense, the temperature rises and the rocket is rocking. The feeling of anger, by itself and by nature, naturally does not justify the action. The body, the mind and our actions continue to be our responsibility to handle our values.
So when anger reaches, we must slow down and decompress; Lower the lid to keep the pressure secret. These simple strategies would make the test of time so much that they are clichés: count to 10, take a deep breath, talk to a good, trusted friend, get out and walk a little, etc. down to get the meaning, not the whole emotional energy, and get it back to decide how it will respond. Check your resting pulse. Researchers tell us we need a minimum of 20 minutes to reach our heart rate at 90 rpm per minute – the overwhelming majority of emotions over emotions – after our anger is over. Not only do we do this to protect our employees from our bad behavior, but also to increase their chances of success.
Remember the concept of emotional intelligence: "The ability to be aware of individual experience in the other, and then deliberately creating the desired result." If our emotions dominate our intellect, our inner experience is not a reliable partner in achieving the desired result. So we are waiting. Slow down and close the door for reactivity. Let's say the less good if somebody is going to go (let's say it feels good – at least until you know what you've done) for the greater goodness to keep the connection and at least make it more attractive what we want. Removing reactive anger and dispelling our situation or claim has two completely different things.
Practice: Identifying experience where anger can react. Think about the income you want to achieve with this person. We need to change their own, within the organization or yours to solve the problem – do you hope once and for all? Now identify how best to present these needs (remember that non-verbal communication conveys much more meaning than our actual words) in a way that attracts not only their understanding but also their cooperation. At this point, anger will look as if it is effective in capturing income and cooperation. He was so good that he was waiting and planning communication.
The choice of the planned rather than the reactive response on the big road is thought, time and self-discipline. This is a victory that expresses the emerging Emotional Intelligence Quotient and leadership skills. Leadership is a tough gift that helps us become a better person – who we are and how we lead inseparable.
Copyright 2008 Rick Piraino
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